The process of forgiving.

Love your enemies? All of them? Surely not! It is nearly impossible for me to even think of them, let alone like them and surely not love them. Jesus must not know what they did to me. If He knew, He'd understand why I just cannot love my enemies...right?

Luke 6:27-28 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

Jesus couldn't have said it more clear here when He tells us how to deal with our enemies. He gives us several actions to take towards them; LOVE, DO GOOD, BLESS, & PRAY. Those are things we're okay with doing, to people we get along with. It's easy to pray for our children, or our spouses. Do good? No problem, we can do good things for those who do good for us. To the person(s) who caused us pain; love isn't the verb we want to put in the same sentence with their name. Surely God will understand if we don't feel like forgiving them. Besides, the pain is too real, the scar too deep, the hate all too real. Can we slip by without forgiving? 

 Matthew 6:15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

That takes my excuses and reasons and blows them right out the window. According to Jesus, if we harbor unforgiveness towards others, He does the same towards us. No 'if, and's, or but's about it'. There are no shades of gray when it comes to God. What He says, He means. We must forgive! If you really think about it, God has forgiven us many more times than we will ever have to forgive someone. He did it, even when He knew we would mess up again. He didn't rub the pain it caused Him in our faces, didn't make us wallow and beg. He simply forgave us because He loves us. Of course, we aren't nowhere near that perfect, and cannot simply forgive and be done. God knows that. The main thing is to begin the road to forgiveness. It's a process, one that takes time, prayer, learning and lots of healing. As Stormie Omartian said, "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it makes you free."

We all have had someone in our lives that has hurt us in some way or another, and we find ourselves with a choice. We can either take the road of anger, which leads to resentment, and eventually hate and bitterness. This road is a slow poison to the soul, eating away at everything. It eventually becomes who you are, nothing good comes from it. Or we can take the other road, the road to forgiveness. Though it isn't always a peaceful journey, it is the way Christ wants us to go. Besides, we know we never walk any road alone. He is there with us, He knows it's not a easy task. Psalm 34:18 says "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted..." He is close to you when people do you wrong. He restores your joy!

 Isaiah 53:3,5 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Jesus was a man 'familiar with suffering'. He who did no wrong was burdened by humanity's sins. If anyone had the right to hold a grudge against someone, it would be Him. He did so much for us, and yet we sometimes do so little for Him. Yet, in His unending love, He chooses to forgive us of our mistakes, and mess-ups time and time again. He is the example of grace. We don't deserve His forgiveness, but He chooses to forgive anyway. We cannot expect Him to forgive us when we mess up and then we withhold it from others. What kind of Christian would we truly be? We are to be an example of Christ. 

Though forgiveness is a hard process, we can be free through it. There is nothing like letting go of the pain and anger and letting Christ mend our wounds. We can learn so much from the pain, the journey, and the end result. Besides, we are never too 'holy' to be free from sin. We all mess up, and I'm glad God forgives, and teaches others to forgive as well! 

-Megan 













 

Healed.

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

 I would feel it coming on, like a tidal wave that can be seen from the shoreline, and like the massive waves, there was no way of stopping it. No place to run either, because it was inside my brain. How does one run from anxiety attacks? The intense fear, as illogical as it may have seemed to others, was real in my mind. I was a prisoner to dread, and fear, and the notion to flee whatever was causing me 'harm'. I was miserable. If anyone has ever suffered from these, you know the misery they cause, and the vicious cycle it produces in your life. I wanted out! 

After doing large amounts of research of at home remedies, and trying them to no avail, I broke down and went to the doctor. Just going to the doctor caused me fear. After a questionnaire and prescriptions, I went home hoping this would be the end. It wasn't! I was taking medicine that woke me in a state of panic, and I found myself more miserable than before. After changing medicine, to no avail again, I began to yearn for God's healing touch. I had been out of church for awhile at that time, and had no concern for going back up until that moment. I felt a tug in my heart, like a memory from the past. I knew who God was, I was raised in church. I knew He healed. I knew I needed Him!

To make a long story short, God led me to a wonderful church, and to a compassionate pastor who prayed over me several times, and with God's help, I overcame my panic disorder. Does that mean I've never had another one? No, I have had to battle it a time or two since then, but it doesn't own me! I am free from the chains of that sickness, and it's all because of Christ. 

Matthew 15:30 And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them.

They put them at Jesus' feet, and He healed them. What great compassion Christ had on humanity! He could've told them He was too busy, and to come back later, yet He didn't. He simply healed them instead. And later in the verse it says they were amazed, and began praising God! What a great example of what we should do when we find ourselves sick, or find one of our loved ones sick, take them to the feet of Christ! Believe in faith that Christ will heal, and when we find ourselves touched by the hand of God, praise Him! Offer thanksgiving!

I have heard and seen with my own eyes people touched by God and completely healed. I, myself, have experienced a healing touch. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, and at anytime. No matter how big the disease, how terminal the condition, how short the expected time frame for life given by the doctors is, God can heal! Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, it doesn't get much more terminal than that. When Jesus gave the final authority over the situation, and told Lazarus to come forth, his body obeyed! Not even death can stay when Jesus tells it to move. Lazarus came forth, bound and tied up in his deathbed clothing, a sign of what once was. Jesus immediately had them removed, for death no longer had hold on him! Jesus can do all.

But what if the healing doesn't come? A hard question to pose, especially when you've seen the sick stay sick, or worse, die because of it. Faith is tested in these times, when you've prayed and prayed for a healing, and yet the thing you want most has not come. What now? Why? Though I do not have all the answers to why some are healed and some are not, I do know God has a plan. He has a purpose for everyone. His ways far exceed ours, and His thoughts are much higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). In everything He does, good comes from it. Though it may not be evident right now, He has good for you, He can work good threw you. I'm not saying God takes people from us on purpose, or that He turns His back on some. What I am saying though, is that healing is not beyond God. He can do it, and will do it.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding...

 In all our ways, we need to trust in Him, and not lean on our own ways. If your like me, you know your ways end on a dead end street with no progress, just lots of mess ups. God's way is much better. When we find ourselves face to face with sickness, of whatever sort, we can go to Jesus and lay it down at His feet. Then trust in Him to take care of us, whether it be through a doctor's care and knowledge, or through a miraculous touch, or a complete healing on the other side of this life. Trusting God takes having a deep relationship with Him, and knowing whatever He has in store for us is for our good. 

Mark 10:27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.

Let's remember this, all things are possible with God. Nothing is too big or small for Him! 

Committed, kind've.

I like to think I am pretty committed to Christ. I read the Bible from time to time throughout the day, I pray when I get a free moment, and I watch Joyce Meyer on Daystar T.V. That should sum me up as committed, right? Not hardly. If I am just going through the motions, checking off my list of things I should do to feel like I am dedicated, then I'm not really getting it. I'm missing what Jesus was talking about in Mark 12:30 when He said, "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Just reading, just praying and just attending church is just scratching the service.  Praying to relieve the guilt of not praying isn't beneficial to anyone, and almost a mockery to God. I am preaching to myself here too, as I have found myself a time or two just praying to say that I've prayed. How shameful I felt when I realized what I was doing! I was sending a message to God that I was too busy, too tired, too uninterested to really get into His presence, or hear His voice at that time. Wow! Needless to say, I did some major apologizing! How would it feel if God told us He was 'just too busy today' to really listen, but go ahead and pray anyway? Not so good. 

There is a name for "just" doing these things; religion. Rituals. There is no depth to them, and therefore they are like roots of a plant sowed on shallow ground. They spring up fast, but soon are scorched and wither. Ever feel withered? Me too. I would be excited, determined to pray and read my Bible 'this' many times a day and for 'this' amount of time...fast forward a few weeks, and I found myself complacent again.

I was a complacent Christian, if there is such a thing. Stagnant is more like it, just like water in a pond with no movement...I was heading nowhere in a hurry. My attitude, just like the pond, stunk. I was held in a prison of my own choosing, disgusted and yet unwilling to move. Ever been there? It's not a fun place to be. Sometimes we don't even realize we're there until we're bogged down knee deep in our own mess we've made. God cannot use a lukewarm Christian for the simple fact we're unwilling to be used. Unwilling to follow His command and love Him with everything we have. 

Romans 1:21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Although they knew God... How many people would say they 'know' God? Knowing about God is not the same as being committed to Him, not the same as knowing who He is. Nobody is committed to someone or something they know nothing about. To be committed to Christ, we must first know WHO He is. To get to know Him, we got to step out of the lukewarm comfort zone we've made. Stagnate water is deadly water, nothing profits from it. 

 What exactly is committed? The dictionary describes it as; "to pledge (oneself); to entrust, especially for safekeeping". To commit our ways to Him means to trust Him with our lives, to pledge ourselves to Him. All or nothing! Not just give Him our best on Sunday and our leftovers Monday-Saturday, but to give Him our everything! 

 James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

There is a wonderful reassurance in this passage. James tells us if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us! It doesn't matter what we've made it before, God is faithful, and merciful! If we seek to know Him, He will make Himself known to us. If we need to be washed clean, He forgives. If we need to rearrange our priorities, and make more time for Him, He encourages us. He is committed to us, and is there for us whenever we need Him. We should be committed to Him as well. 

Make today the day we start doing things the right way. No more mediocre relationship with Christ. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, today is but for a moment, let's make it the day we turn a new leaf! 

 Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Let follow David's cry here, and ask God to know our hearts and minds, and to lead us.

-Megan

 

The dot of a dot...

Ever have days where you feel so small in this great big world? How could God see me down here amongst so many? Sometimes I feel less than 'a dot on the map', unseen and undetected. Surely God can't possibly see us all, know us all, and hear us all when we pray. 

There is an estimated 7,069,600,000 people in the world today. 7 billion is a crazy number to wrap my head around, I need a visual! So I did a little googling (new word!) and found out that if everyone held hands, the human population could stretch across the world 294.54 times*! That is a lot of people! Surely I can get lost from God's view in that dense of a population, but He says different:

Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.

Any mother can recall the day she gave birth to each of her children, there is something special about each one. The love of a mother for her children is unexplainable, and unquenchable. Even if you are a adoptive mother, mother to fur babies, or think of a niece, nephew or god-child as one of your own, the motherly love we women posses is hard to overcome. God says His love for us is even greater! He has engraved our names upon His palms, to be there forever! Not only that, He counts the very number of hairs on our heads! Wow, what a awesome God we serve! Who knows the number of hairs I have on my head, besides Him? No one! 

Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Five sparrows for two cents. That's like two for each penny, and the fifth was almost like a freebie. Man, it must stink being that fifth sparrow. They were plentiful creatures, so much so they were selling them for next to nothing. Do you think the seller remembered each one he sold? God did! Not one was forgotten, not even the poor fifth sparrow who, to the seller, had no value. God said we are worth more than the little birds, whom are all accounted for in His eyes.

Psalm 139:13 -14, 17, 18 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

 Before we were even born, the Lord knew us, knew who we would become, where we go. There is no way we can be unseen by Him, His thoughts are constantly upon us! Outnumber the grains of sand?! Wow! That is a lot of thoughts about His children. My limited mind cannot fathom it, how He can see me, let alone know me inside and out, knows my thoughts...and still loves me! 

Even in the grand scheme of this life, and the life after, God never forgets about us. We are part of His plan! We are important to Him, each and every single one of us...even those that feel like that poor little sparrow who happened to be the freebie no one wanted to pay for. We are precious to Him! Let this be your prayer for your life today, if you, like me, sometimes struggle with feeling forgotten;

Ephesians 3:17-19 ...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

-Megan

*www.quora.com. (statistic is not approximate, based on a number of assumptions such as height, length of arms, etc)

Refining gold

My world has just flipped, and everything around me is now falling straight for my head. Reeling from such a quick downward spiral, I find myself with nothing to stand on, and I begin to panic. I am a frantic child crying out for my heavenly Father to make it right again. When it doesn't happen, I question the strength of my faith. My faith. Up until this time, my faith was comfortable. It was something I relied on in a causal manner. Now it is all I have left to stand on. It becomes my sole source of survival. 

The very core of my being has been rocked, and for what? Why did this happen to me? I want to file a complaint, stating how unjust this is, but a verse pops into my head, and reminds me why we go through things sometimes. 

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 Sometimes our faith gets tested, and it is almost always hard. If it were easy, it wouldn't be a test. I need to remind myself that. Like a teacher tests his/her students to see if they know what they have been taught, same goes for God. One way to find out what we are lacking? Go through a rough time in our spiritual walk, and things are brought to our attention. In these trails we face, we have the opportunity to let God refine us, like gold is refined through fire. 

1 Peter 1:6-7 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Did you know that when refining gold, it's heated to extreme temperatures (excess of 1,000 degrees Celsius, or 1,832 degrees Fahrenheit) to pull out all the impurities or 'dross'? When heated to this temperature, the impurities rise to the surface of the melted gold and are extracted to make the gold pure. Then (this is what spoke to my spirit this morning) the refiners, when making the gold into something of value, ADD other metals to it, to strengthen it, forming an alloy. God works in the same way! When we go under the fire, and things in our life take a nose dive, God refines our faith! Things we have accumulated in our life, the fruits of the flesh (anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, etc) rise to the top, and can be removed, only to be replaced with the things of the Spirit (love, goodness, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc). The fruits of the Spirit can replace our fruits of the flesh! 

This, in text, sounds wonderful! In reality though, it is a true test of faith and takes a lot of perseverance. Isn't that what James was telling us to do? To let perseverance do it's work in us so we lack nothing? What exactly is perseverance? The dictionary describes it as, "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement." So in short, never quit, despite it all! Even though it is hard to go through the fire, it pays off so much in the end. God can take you places you never dreamed possible, leading you to new heights in your spiritual walk with Him. The refining process can be viewed in one of two ways; you can either mumble and complain and wail your way through it, making it much harder and longer and the results less than what God wants for you, OR consider it pure joy! You are getting rid of the things that are holding you back from your potential in Christ, and are being filled with good things straight from Him! Now that is exciting! 

Next time my life is turned upside down, I will do my best to remember His words of encouragement, and do as said in Psalms 46:10 "Be STILL and know that I am God..."

1. Fall into pit. 2. Climb out. 3. Repeat.

I seem to fall into traps set by the enemy with great regularity in my spiritual walk at times. I seem to be delivered from one, only to fall into the next hole set before me. If a record book of such things existed, I'm sure my name would hold in the top ten, with a side-note: "does not heed danger very well". Thank God no book like that exists! 

During those times when I can't seem to stand for falling, I figure this is it. I'm finished. God is done messing with me. He can only love someone so much, right? In my finite, human ways, there is a limit on His love, and His grace...and I've used it up. Why do I mess up so much?? I'm sure no one struggles at walking the higher road like me. I envision my spiritual friends and family member's roads to be smooth, the trail straight and  the scenery beautiful. Mine? A ugly, rocky, steep slope I'm constantly trying to climb to the top of. Of course this isn't true, but when your feelings get in the way, thoughts like these usually occur. 

So, is God really done with me? Am I evicted from the love of God? "When in doubt, pull your bible out". I'm not sure who said those words, but they are good ones to memorize! Here's what the Bible says about His love for us; 

 Romans 8:38-39  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Wow! This pretty much takes the wind right out of my sails called doubt. Even though my feelings tell me I'm so unlovable, God's word tells me His love is inseparable from me! That is like a soothing balm to cracked skin. Nothing can separate His love for me, not even my tendency to mess up a lot. 

 Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ

Even when we were dead in our sins, He loved us, with a great and unending love. Something my mind has a hard time wrapping around. I just have to dig into my faith bucket, scrape the bottom when it seems like it's empty, and say "I know You love me God, you said it! If You said it, You meant it, so I'm standing on that." It takes faith to believe one way when you feel another, especially in the dark of night when everyone is asleep and the enemy is whispering lies in your ear. When those moments come, it's a good opportunity to whisper back to the enemy (don't want to wake the house) the last line of Romans 8:39: "NOTHING will ever be able to separate us from the love of God..." and feel free to add, "that includes you satan". He is always trying to discourage the body of Christ, that is his main job...we don't have to listen. When we fall, remember His mercies are new every morning for us (Lamentations 3:22-23), so rely on that unending love and patience to get back up and continue on! And thank God again there is no record book for the most falls. :) 

-Megan 

Where's my 'wow' moment?

"Dear Lord, please watch over my family, my friends and my cat. Thank You for all You do....uh....and *yawn* continue to bless us....amen..." Your prayers ever sound painfully void like mine sometimes? It seems like no matter how hard I try to pray, my efforts come up short. I know deep in my heart I have a revenue of praise and worship just waiting to spill forth...it has on several occasions. It is a wonderful feeling, offering my all to the One who is all, showering Him with praise and thanksgiving, leaving nothing back. Wow! It's a 'wow' experience that leaves me empty and weak...and yet so renewed and complete. So what's this stumbling mess I'm blurting out in the few minutes before I drift off to sleep? Have I somehow lost my connection? Are those words literally falling back into my face after speaking them out in prayer, or is it my imagination? 

We all feel 'less-than' when it comes to praying sometimes, I'm sure. I know I do! Yes, there is a discipline issue sometimes in my life when I've waited and let life get ahead of my special time with God, and those half-asleep prayers are my fault. Ouch! There are other times, though, when my house is quiet, and I find myself kneeling in prayer, bible open, and faith tested. "Are You really listening God?" I want to ask, because it feels the exact opposite. My ceiling has never looked more non penetrable than at those moments. I've come to learn something from these moments throughout my spiritual walk, even if I don't feel like the result are worth it; PRAY ANYWAY! I don't feel God; PRAY ANYWAY! Even if it seems seriously void of any goose-bump, hair on end moments, pray anyway. Not every prayer session will be a jump-out-of-your-seat-and-run moment, but every session in prayer is a moment, a hour well spent. 

 All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired. -Martin Luther (1483-1546)

When we call upon Him in true faith, standing on what we believe, and trusting He hears our heart more than He hears our words, He inclines to our prayers! I know this to be true, because I have seen in my own life the fruit of praying, even in those tough moments. 

  Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Jesus says here if we believe, we receive what we ask for. He didn't say we had to know eloquent speech, or state our petitions in a 1,2,3 format, or even say certain words. He did, however, say we had to do two things; believe and ask! We got the asking part down! What better way to strengthen our belief than to pray in our weak moments, when we don't feel He is near? It is in the valley of whatever storm we are facing that great faith can be erected in our lives.