1. Fall into pit. 2. Climb out. 3. Repeat.

I seem to fall into traps set by the enemy with great regularity in my spiritual walk at times. I seem to be delivered from one, only to fall into the next hole set before me. If a record book of such things existed, I'm sure my name would hold in the top ten, with a side-note: "does not heed danger very well". Thank God no book like that exists! 

During those times when I can't seem to stand for falling, I figure this is it. I'm finished. God is done messing with me. He can only love someone so much, right? In my finite, human ways, there is a limit on His love, and His grace...and I've used it up. Why do I mess up so much?? I'm sure no one struggles at walking the higher road like me. I envision my spiritual friends and family member's roads to be smooth, the trail straight and  the scenery beautiful. Mine? A ugly, rocky, steep slope I'm constantly trying to climb to the top of. Of course this isn't true, but when your feelings get in the way, thoughts like these usually occur. 

So, is God really done with me? Am I evicted from the love of God? "When in doubt, pull your bible out". I'm not sure who said those words, but they are good ones to memorize! Here's what the Bible says about His love for us; 

 Romans 8:38-39  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Wow! This pretty much takes the wind right out of my sails called doubt. Even though my feelings tell me I'm so unlovable, God's word tells me His love is inseparable from me! That is like a soothing balm to cracked skin. Nothing can separate His love for me, not even my tendency to mess up a lot. 

 Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ

Even when we were dead in our sins, He loved us, with a great and unending love. Something my mind has a hard time wrapping around. I just have to dig into my faith bucket, scrape the bottom when it seems like it's empty, and say "I know You love me God, you said it! If You said it, You meant it, so I'm standing on that." It takes faith to believe one way when you feel another, especially in the dark of night when everyone is asleep and the enemy is whispering lies in your ear. When those moments come, it's a good opportunity to whisper back to the enemy (don't want to wake the house) the last line of Romans 8:39: "NOTHING will ever be able to separate us from the love of God..." and feel free to add, "that includes you satan". He is always trying to discourage the body of Christ, that is his main job...we don't have to listen. When we fall, remember His mercies are new every morning for us (Lamentations 3:22-23), so rely on that unending love and patience to get back up and continue on! And thank God again there is no record book for the most falls. :) 

-Megan